Lindsay revealed her plans for the future as she hid under a table in a nightclub in Brazil
Lindsay Lohan wants the world to know that this time around, she really is a changed woman.
And with a 90-day rehab stint looming and thanks to much soul-searching, she plans on undertaking enormous lifestyle changes when she leaves a treatment facility.
“I’ve changed as a person,” Lindsay exclusively told us while hiding under the table of a Brazilian nightclub on Thursday night. “I know I have said it before, but this time I really mean it. I am done with partying. Done with chasing boy band members across the world — I have found God.”
Swigging back a triple vodka, Lindsay continued: ”My newly discovered faith in God has shown me the errors of my ways. I want to be seen as the Meryl Streep of my generation. I know I have the talent. In fact, I should have won an Oscar already. But people have the wrong perception of me and there is only one way to change it…. that is to become a nun. No more booze, no more sex and especially, no more Adderall.
“I cannot wait to finish my rehab stint and be cleared of all these demons that have plagued me. I begged my lawyer to move up the date I entered, but he insisted that I go to Coachella for publicity reasons. You wait, I will show the world a brand new me. I promise.”
Oh, if only this was true and it wasn’t April Fools’ Day.
The reality of the situation is that prosecutors are already said to be debating whether to send her to jail or undertake a 90-day stint in rehab.
But the 26-year-old has now reportedly told her team of lawyers she is only prepared to go to a lockdown facility if she will be allowed to continue taking her medication for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Sources close to the 26-year-old actress have claimed she has taken the drug Adderall on a daily basis “for years”, and she is said to be prepared to “take her chances at trial” if her lawyer Mark Heller can’t find a rehab facility to accommodate her demands, TMZ reports.
She was reported to have been paid a six figure sum to attend the opening of John John Denim’s flagship store in Sao Paulo, Brazil, and hours later, Lindsay Lohan ends up sitting on a dirty nightclub floor.
Apparently the trouble-prone actress decided it was wise to hide under a table to avoid taking pictures with ”fans” on Thursday night.
“Bafão! In party in Sao Paulo, Lindsay Lohan refuses to take pictures and hides under the DJ table,”a person attending the party tweeted along with the above snap.
Lindsay will enter 90-day rehab in May, not that it is expected to do any good — her previous five attempts in rehab facilities have failed spectacularly.
She’s tried her hand at a whole host of endeavours and now, Paris Hilton’s stint as a DJ has gone down like a lead balloon.
The heiress spent more time dancing around than actually mixing when she made her debut on Saturday night with an hour-long set behind the decks at Pop Music Festival in Sao Paulo, Brazil.
She may have been sporting diamond encrusted headphones, but she didn’t actually appear to be doing too much by way of mixing…. and who is the mystery guy, trying to stay out of the spotlight, that appears to be doing all the work?
And her stint has come under fire from DJ and record producer, Deadmau5, according to Radar Online.
The hottest DJ of the moment had this to say about Hilton’s DJ debut: “To be fair… the mayans saw this sh*t coming.”
He then took to Facebook to add: “AS I WAS SAYING… its over.”
Unfortunately, we’re not sure it is over…. cover up those ears of yours, Hilton is coming to a town near you anytime soon!
Days ago we questioned whether the Secret Service debacle in Colombia only came to the public’s attention because of one fool, who refused to pay escort Dania Londono Suarez the correct amount.
We wondered, if those people in the position of privileged power had been abusing it for some time.
Now, a new story has emerged, which is possibly even more embarrassing for the Obama administration than the Colombian mess.
According to reports, three American marines injured a Brazilian prostitute after throwing her out of an official Embassy car.
Romilda Ferreira was left with a broken collar bone, two broken ribs and a punctured lung after the incident in Brazil’s capital Brasilia.
The three marines on a U.S. Embassy security team, and an Embassy staff member, were pulled out of the country before police were able to press charges, according to Brazil’s Jornal Nacional programme.
This latest incident, which happened in November last year, came to light after U.S. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, in Brazil during a Latin American tour, was questioned about it by a Brazilian reporter during a press conference.
According to a Brazilian police investigation, the four U.S. Embassy officials had visited a nightclub in the centre of Brasilia where they had hired a group of prostitutes.
One of the Americans and at least one woman left the club by taxi, but Ms Ferreira and another women got into an official U.S. Embassy van with the other three men.
As they pulled away there was a discussion about how much the women were to be paid, and one of the marines pushed Ms Ferreira out of the car, where she ended up being run over by the vehicle.
Speaking to the Jornal Nacional news programme, Romilda said she tried to hold on to the door but was dragged under the wheels.
She said: “I tried to get up and grabbed the doorknob. That was when they told the driver to go. Then I felt my leg burning. I let go and fell underneath the van. I hit my head and passed out.”
The Americans then allegedly drove away without offering assistance.
This new reveleation heaps more shame on Obama’s men, just as the Colombian scandal was starting to quieten down.
Subscribe via Email