We’ve all used that cliché that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, time and time again.
And anyone who is in a relationship knows, the opposite sex, is well, just different, and has an entirely different mindset.
Dr. Reef Karim,The Sex, Drugs & Relationships Doctor and Psychiatrist & Relationship Expert, has a new book out titled “Why Does He Do That? Why Does She Do That?”, in which he explores the mysteries surrounding women and men. And it seems that men lie and do anything to appease us more often than women do.
Here is our exclusive interview with him…
Celebzter: Can you tell us about you book “Why Does He Do That? Why Does She Do That?”
Dr. Reef Karim: This book “Why Does He Do That? Why Does She Do That?” examines the dating world from a psychological (and sometimes funny) perspective. Men and Women have been fascinated and frustrated by each other forever and in this book, we break down the differences between men and women and give some practical advice on how to date more effectively. In other words, how not to self destruct on a date. What is he really thinking when you stay over at his place on a 1st or 2nd date? Do people even really date anymore or just “hang out” and “hook up?”. What does it mean when someone says “pass the awkward sauce?”
We also go over common relationship issues. Many couples break up because they don’t know how to grow together or how to resolve conflict in a healthy way or they don’t understand themselves very well. A key to having a successful relationship is to really understand yourself; what are your dating habits?, what kind of attachment style did you have growing up?, what do you do when you get anxious?, how do you handle anger? etc.
What’s interesting about this book is that there are two writers: one male & one female; one single & one married with kids and one who’s in the dating world now and one who hasn’t been there for a while. Sometimes we agree. Other times we don’t. But, we are both experts in human behavior. Reading this book will change the way you look at the opposite sex.. and yourself.
Celebzter: Are men and women REALLY that different?
Dr. Reef Karim: Men and women are different in so many ways. Which is why it’s “so hard to live with them but yet we can’t live without them.” We are obviously different anatomically and physically but our brains are also different, we are socialized different, we have different ways of looking at the world and we have unique strengths and weaknesses. The ideal situation is when a marriage/relationship takes the strengths of the man and the strengths of the woman and develops an entity that’s “the best of”. Like a “best of” CD that gets rid of all of the lame songs that sound like a bad version of the good ones.
Celebzter: What is the biggest difference (aside from the obvious physical) between them?
Dr. Reef Karim: Here’s an example: When I say our brains are different, I see people start to yawn and they’re thinking “this guy’s going to say something super boring right now.” But, how many times have women asked their man to remember their anniversary or their birthday or to pick up a list of things from the store and what happens most of the time? HE FORGETS. Now why does it seem like women remember everything and men remember nothing? It’s because an area of our brain that processes memories is better connected and usually larger in women. Those memories also tend to carry more emotional value in women which is why women remember better.. they have an emotional attachment to the memory. You’re not yawning anymore, are you?
Celebzter: Do they communicate differently?
Dr. Reef Karim: We definitely communicate differently. Men tend to be single focused; we get an idea in our head and go with it, often compromising everything else around us. It’s a good quality when achieving a specific goal but it’s not the best thing when you want to multi-task. Women have awareness of their entire environment. It almost speaks to them.
Celebzter: Do you think men just say anything to please women?
Dr. Reef Karim: Men will lie or just appease a woman when guys want to avoid conflict, avoid intimacy, avoid interrogation or maintain a sense of privacy. When men feel comfortable and “safe” (yeah, I used the word “safe”) around a woman (meaning we don’t think you’re going to use our words against us later), then we will say what we’re really feeling.
Celebzter: Do you think men lie often to women?
Dr. Reef Karim: Men lie more than women but women are better liars. Guys that aren’t sociopaths are pretty weak liars.
Celebzter: How can women understand men better?
Dr. Reef Karim: The best thing a woman can do is to realize that A MAN IS NOT A HAIRY WOMAN. He’s completely different than you in every way but the right man with the right woman is an incredible combination. Take the time to understand that he doesn’t operate like you do and you shouldn’t expect him to. Respecting our differences and understand ourselves is the key to a happy and healthy romantic life.
Follow Dr. Reef Karim on Twitter: @DrReef