The Petraeus Sex Scandal is complex and complicated, to say the least, with new head-spinning developments emerging every day.
But to break it down to its simplest form, it is a tale of betrayal and cheating.
Here renowned relationship expert and ‘Today’ therapist, Dr. Gilda, gives her take on why David Petraeus, the 60-year-old married father of two, and Paula Broadwell, 40, and married, would embark on this ultimately dangerous liaison.
“Men in power are catnip to women who want a piece of that power,” Dr. Gilda explains on whether it was the power not the person that drew Broadwell to the four-star general. ”And women who don’t feel empowered themselves, DO want to partake.
“Here was Petraeus, far away from his wife and family, and there was Broadwell, far away from hers. What’s more, she’s beautiful, sexy, and willing to sweat hard with him during their workouts. In addition, they became emotionally close because she was writing HIS biography, continuing to stoke his ego by making him the center of her world. It was a perfect set-up: isolated guy desirous of ego-stroking and gorgeous woman, more than willing to do it—and extend that stroking to other parts of his ready body. Since they were both so far from home, the fantasy was that no one would ever know. And secretiveness adds to the heat!” she adds.
And what of that notion that women find men in uniforms more attractive?
“Men in uniforms, especially fighters, have a particular appeal to women because women have the rescue fantasy, hoping to be protected and saved,” Dr. Gilda says. “Strong and powerful is great, but the proof of a man’s protective ability is his uniform.”
After being married to a man for 37 years, should Petraeus’ wife, Holly, stick by him?
Dr. Gilda reveals: “Plenty of couples use cheating as the impetus to regroup—and their marriage becomes stronger than it’s been. As my book, “How to Win When Your Mate Cheats” says, Petraeus’s wife should only consider regrouping if the two of them pursue couples counseling. A therapist must uncover Petreaus’ need for adoration, as well as her own role in the marriage’s obvious demise. In such cases, no one in particular can be faulted, but both parties contributed to the derailment over time, and probably without even knowing. Taking responsibility for such reality is what counseling is all about.
“I have been asked by fearful partners how to prevent this from happening to their marriage. In the end, people betray their spouses if the spouse is not their best friend. Many marriages begin for the wrong reasons, and friendship is not included in their list of desires. Yet, friendship is the sustaining element for relationships to last,” she adds.
“The most important learning from this is to establish a best friend with your mate,” she says. “I taped a short video regarding this— to prevent it from happening to you.”
Watch the clip here…